The Lockdown Diaries – Mental Toughness

Last Thursday here in South Africa, President Sizzler announced that we would be extending the lockdown by two weeks to make it five in total.

We knew it was coming, I had prepared myself for it, three weeks was never going to be enough but as he said it, I got that quick shot of panic course through me. Like that moment when you get your finger trapped in a fence or arm stuck under the sofa when trying to grab a rogue Hatchimal or LOL doll that is too far out of reach.

Before I go on and the keyboard warriors start warming their sweaty palms up, I know that we have it a lot better than many other people, especially in this country, and things could be worse for many of us but it still doesn’t make it any easier being effectively locked up with two kids in a house and not having the ability to go for even a stroll up our road. What any of us, from any walk of life is used to doing or take for granted has gone for an indefinite amount of time. Big tunnel, bugger all light at the end of it.

Again, I know that this lockdown is for all the right reasons and it is better for us all to stay at home but what I am also saying is that the adjustment is so monstrous that none of us could mentally imagine what changes were coming our way.

I am grateful for what we have, I have said that to so many people, but man this is tough. Mentally tough to keep finding ways of entertaining the kids so they don’t go brain dead in front of bloody Ryan and his goofy millionaire parents’ toy videos (do you think Ryan will realise he has Stockholm Syndrome in years to come?) or Tiani and her irritatingly happy Dad.

I call myself a social butterfly, Mikaela would probably say I am an irritating nause but either way, I like being around people and being able to do spontaneous things in my life. It is one of my strongest personality traits and that has been swiped away from me. My work involves going to speak to people, bringing in new clients and interacting face to face. I love doing that and now I can’t. *STOMPS FEET, PICKS UP HIS BALL AND GOES HOME*

Woe me hey? Not really, I’m just having a day where things look bleaker than normal both in my house and the thought of others. How are other people coping? Here I am wishing myself 10 minutes of peace to write but the kids have run out here at least 6 times in the last five minutes to tell me their bowling score on the Wii. Issy has cracked the 200 barrier by the way but still no where near my best score. Must do better!

I digress, rudely in fact because what I was about to say was that there are lots and lots of our friends and family that would love that to be happening now. People running in and out causing mischief and disrupting them. Some are home alone, including my Mum in the UK. She has been self-isolating for months and not just weeks. I know she is reading this so will hold back medical and age details but she fears this horrible virus and has every right to. Scared and home alone but with fantastic neighbours who are doing a shop run for her during the week. Mum, I’ll phone you later just to say hello!

Everyone’s story is different and I don’t think people should necessarily hold on to any guilt for feeling the way they do. None of us were ready to endure this but maybe we will stop mocking the last remaining people of the World War Two generation for saying……During the war…….

I’m starting to calm down a bit and put perspective on it all but maybe I am I just impatient.

I’m impatient to see what the world is going to be like after all of this. I’m impatient to see what people are going to do to change, to make life happier for themselves, to help each other out in the future. I might be naïve in this line of thinking and people would be justified to say that I am because of craziness of others behaviour right now. Over 600 parties in Manchester broken up the weekend before last, stories of huge gatherings in parks and beaches and people actually wanting Boris Johnson to die when he caught the Virus. Social Media idiots sat under a black light in a room they haven’t left in five years I am sure but I saw some of these tweets and videos. I literally can not fathom why someone would wish someone else to die in these circumstances.

The other thing I am waiting to see is if people will eat humble pie and stop listening to glorified, jumped up celebrities whilst believing everything that they say is gospel.

Yes, politics, I went there. I am talking mainly about one man of course. I say ‘man’ but I wouldn’t want to associate them to that word.

The Orange one in Washington is not fit to cross the road on his own let alone govern people’s lives for a minimum term. We can all blame him if we want but we, the human race, voted him in to power. Human beings voted for a billionaire, reality TV show celebrity to run the most powerful country on the planet.

Here lies my biggest fear. This man’s actions, or lack of, are ending people’s lives. You know the rest and have seen the press conferences of this ignoramus so I will no harp on but please, humanity, take a look in the mirror.

The worrying thing is, he will probably get voted in again. People will walk into a booth, put a X next to his name and continue to put their own lives at risk by doing so. It’s a good job little Ryan has so many toys as he now has double Stockholm Syndrome.

Others are leading admirably well, Sizzler included, but these times should not define them. Still plenty of issues to rectify on the other side of this pandemic Sir. Long standing ones at that.

Crikey, I wasn’t meant to have a rant here today but that is where my mental state is at and I must say that I feel a little bit better for getting things off my chest.

Today marks half way or thereabouts of the five weeks that we have to stay in lockdown. As long as people behave we may have an actual shot of getting small privileges back into our lives. I don’t mean a sunset dinner in Camps Bay, I mean a walk down the street, a conversation without a wall between us and maybe a cheeky beer with a pal.

Funnily enough, this slightly contradicts my caveat earlier on about other people being worse off because guess what? They want exactly the same as me, you and everyone else.

What a leveller this lockdown has become for us all.



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