The Lockdown Diaries – Day 4 – The Sitting Duck

How on God’s Green Earth is it only Day 4??

Day 4 of 21 minimum! I know that it will go longer, I just know it.

This lockdown is seriously testing our parenting skills to the max but what I actually think will happen, is that we will look back on this time with Issy and Emilie with great fondness. I say this as I stare at the bottom right hand of my screen and only find disappointment that it is still 127 minutes until Gin ‘o Clock.

We tend to be one of those families, that if we sit still for a day and don’t really achieve anything then we feel guilty about it. Parking the kids in front of the TV is a real guilt but there has to come a time when you need to switch off as well and take time to relax a bit.

Mikaela is the worse for this, no doubt about it. Huffing and puffing around the house, moving something for no reason a hundred times and putting it back where it was originally, before we all agree that is the best place for it. I wouldn’t mind so much but I have been through this routine a million times, I know how it will end but inevitably I have to go and look, seem interested, give a thoughtful nod and then wait for the next…..Andy….Andy…….come here, let me know what you think.

This lockdown is a dangerous time for a man like me as I have zero interest in gardening, hate D.I.Y and I can’t even use the excuse that I am doing sport research for my media work, when I am actually into the final five minutes of a crucial game of football on my phone. The lie would be transparent.

I’m a sitting duck for chores and the big ones are coming my way.

Let me take you back a bit here. I built the girl’s bunk beds a few months back. Refer to my D.I.Y hatred above. Like many pieces of furniture I have built, the swear jar was overflowing by the end of it and it was all my screwdrivers fault it took me so long. With that and the pain of the Allen Key indent in the palm of my hand, I vowed never to make any form of furniture ever again.

So imagine my dismay when I hear from the depths of the kitchen the other day:

“I’m thinking of moving the girls’ bedroom around and I’d like to try the beds on the other wall.”

Terror, sheer terror coursed through my veins.

Then I hear:

“Do you reckon you could separate the two beds to make two singles instead?”

Silent tears were streaming down my chubby cheeks as I rocked in the corner and tried to reason with her.

Day 4 of 21!!!!! MINIMUM!

I’ve done my fair bit so far as well. Picked all of the olives off the tree, washed up a few times, fed the cat, got the Wii set up, cooked and entertained the kids with an SAS style obstacle course. Surely a few credits in the bank for an easy life? No such luck.

Last night, on the Stoep, G&T in hand (102 minutes and counting by the way) Mik sits up like a Meerkat and says:

“Those four massive plants in pots down in the garden, I’d like to take them out and plant them in the soil.”

I didn’t flinch but I could feel the head next to me turning with a big cheesy grin on her face! Like the face I make when someones asks if I want another beer at the pub!

This morning I dutifully dug through clay soil, the roots of trees and very nearly through our water mains but I did it!

A huge trench for the plants, a sore back and sweat…..bloody sweat! Me? This is a joke!

Photographic Evidence of the Plants

Before you ask Mik, that is the best place for them and they would not look any better, any where else in this country!

All jokes aside (they aren’t actually jokes – please send help) the kids are continuing to be little rock stars. There are some very serious moments of panic and meltdown from Emilie. Mainly when her LOL doll that is the size of my little finger nail gets lost and we only find it when she stands up and sees that she has been sitting on it. Credit where credit is due though, on the whole their imaginations have kept them busy.

Issy ‘helps’ with the 1000 piece puzzle of the planets. I put ‘helps’ in inverted commas because she looks busy but mainly just sits making rocket noises and moves the edges into the middle to see if an orange piece will fit into a purple bit! She then leaves it in the abyss of pieces yet to find their true home.

Joe Wicks continues to inspire us all in the mornings with regards to our exercise regime and Issy especially, is practicing her gymnastics outside until there is a hole in the brand-new mats that we bought for ourselves to allow Mr. Wicks to continue to inspire us.

Olympic Gymnasts at the ready

My colouring in continues to improve as I stay in the lines more often these days but thank goodness we are exercising daily because the girls baking skills are getting dangerously good. Peanut Cookies and a huge birthday cake to celebrate getting through Day 1 have been the highlights so far.

The community around us are also continuing to astound me on a daily basis. We handed some cake over the fence and the next day homemade scones came back our way.

Issy helped me take the ripe olives off the tree to drop at another neighbour but before we did, she insisted we added some herbs from the garden and some flowers to make it look pretty.

Two hours later, we had fresh lemons and Granadilla’s hanging from our gate that they had picked for Issy to say thanks. We will be making Lemonade very soon with those. The Granadilla’s are great for scooping out and putting into your G&T. (73 Minutes) Cape Fynbos Gin is the best Gin for this and other Gin is available but you would be silly to buy that let’s be honest! 😉

Day four is almost done but what is that I hear?

Oh it’s Mikaela, she wants to see if we can turn the house 45 degrees anti clockwise just to see how it looks!

Yes darling, no problems at all!

Stuff it! Gin time is coming early this evening!!


One thought on “The Lockdown Diaries – Day 4 – The Sitting Duck

  1. Andrew, I feel for you…
    “..those four massive plants in the garden… you know, I’ve changed my mind… lucky you didn’t dump their pots yet, because I think…”


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